Kindness is Free

I used to work at a shelter on the South Side of Milwaukee as a bilingual (English/Spanish) therapist. There was a lot of rapid change because many of the youth were in volatile situations, so often as quickly as they arrived, they would also be gone. In an attempt to offer healthy closure every day before I left, I would try to say goodbye to everyone that was there (staff, volunteers, and youth) in case I didn’t see them again when I came back the next day.  

One time, as I was leaving, a 16-year-old said “See ya,” and then added, “Kindness is Free!!”

This comment totally warmed my heart and has stuck with me through the years, for two main reasons:

1. I thought teenage years were the pinnacle of bullying, so to hear this coming from someone who was that age, I was like “Wow, definitely NOT what I expected from a 16-year-old.” and more importantly,

2. She was right. It literally costs nothing to be kind. To each other, to ourselves. It can be as simple a choice, and orientation or outlook on living, a way of being.

So my challenge to you (and myself) is: How are you being kind? To others? To yourself? Where can you start?

If you aren’t sure, consider these two strategies:

1. Use a neutral statement (not negative “I’m the worst” nor positive “I’m the best”) but in the middle, stating facts (“I am me.”). Often, when we are in a negative headspace, it can be difficult to genuinely co-sign a statement that feels ‘fake’ or ‘phony’ so neutrality is a much easier target. What neutral statements can you write down about yourself?

2. A class way to be kinder to ourselves is to think about “what would I say to a friend?” Likely, even if we are brutally honest, we are not telling them how much they suck or focusing on all of their flaws, moreso VALIDATING that situations can be difficult, and we are often doing the best we can. Another way to put it, “how can I give myself grace, or permission to be human?”

Dr. Lauren Mascari

To hear more about the science behind kindness, check out this 3 minute explanation: https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1193148718 

Apparel: https://freethelabel.com/products/kindness-is-free-charity-tee 

"Today is a happy day!"🌈✨ #LivingMyBestLife #EmpowerWomen #ResilienceJourney